Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round. This weekend, I am making a vow, a solemn oath if you will: I will NOT be writing. Not a single word. Not a smidgen of a sentence. Why, you ask? Well, let me lay it out for you in the clearest of terms.

**Because Clearly, I Need a Break**

After all, it’s not like writing is my passion or anything. Oh no, it’s merely a passing fancy, a whimsical hobby that I dabble in now and then. The thought of crafting characters, weaving plots, and creating entire worlds? Pfft. Who needs that kind of excitement and fulfillment?

**Because Relaxation is Overrated**

Yes, let me just sit here, twiddling my thumbs, staring blankly at the wall. This is the ultimate form of relaxation, isn’t it? Forget the joy of losing myself in a story, the thrill of seeing my thoughts come to life on paper. No, no. A weekend of utter inactivity is just what the doctor ordered.

**Because My Brain Needs to Be as Unstimulated as Possible**

Heaven forbid my brain should be engaged in any sort of creative endeavor. I must protect it from the horrors of imagination and inspiration. Let's keep things nice and dull, shall we? Netflix marathons, endless scrolling through social media, and maybe, just maybe, a nap or two. That’s the stuff of true mental rejuvenation.

**Because Who Needs Progress Anyway?**

Progress is for overachievers. I’m perfectly content with the status quo, thank you very much. What’s that? Deadlines? Psh, who needs them? Goals? Overrated. The satisfaction of completing a chapter? I’ll pass.

**Because FOMO Isn’t Real**

Everyone else might be out there, hitting their word counts, sharing their progress, and basking in the glow of their accomplishments. But not me. Nope. I’ll just be here, watching the world go by, free from the shackles of productivity.

Conclusion

So, dear friends, you heard it here first. This weekend, I will NOT be writing. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Not a chance. And if you happen to catch me scribbling away, lost in the world of my own creation, just remember: I was only resting my eyes.

Happy non-writing weekend to all! ✍️😂